The Narrow Way

“Girl!” She said full of excitement as she walked over and slapped my shoulder. “You just did something I never thought anyone could do!” 😳🫣

I smiled, but not a full blown proud smile, it was more of a half smile, because I thought I knew what she was referring to and if it was THAT, well, frankly I had very little to do with it. 😌😊

The truth is, since shortly after that moment in my kitchen, I became overwhelmingly aware of my role. Sure, I had the “highlight,” I was able to be part of that absolutely incredible moment when someone becomes fully aware of AND says ‘yes’ to Jesus. But it wasn’t as if I brought her there. It was the the Holy Spirit Himself, who promised to draw all men to Jesus, combined with the prayers of many.

“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day.” John 6:44

“And I, when I am lifted up from the earth,will draw all people to myself.” John 12:32

“Do you know how long I had been praying for her?!” this friend continued. Truth is, I didn’t, I didn’t know for certain where she stood in her faith until now. She went on to describe times in the past with this mutual friend, now a believer, and her efforts at witnessing. And I think now how it wasn’t wasted. She didn’t fail. She was seed planting and ground tilling. And it wasn’t just her…I knew another co-worker was praying too…

Shortly after this friend in her 40s received the Lord, I mentioned she should tell someone of her decision to follow Jesus. To my surprise, she already had. She had messaged two family members, one of whom is a Christian, to let them know. That Christian, her sister, had been praying for her for years…

And all of this came to my attention AFTER the fact. I had asked 3 different prayer groups to pray before we met that day, far more than I usually do. One called me after to tell me how she was interceding during our time together. Others rejoiced in the news but didn’t give me details of their prayer time. People near and far had prayed. Friends of mine in Russia, South Africa, Zimbabwe, and the US paused to intercede for a single soul to experience the greatest miracle we will ever know on this side of eternity: the revelation of Jesus that leads to salvation.

I had been ‘high’ with joy since the moment we had prayed, and the more I uncovered after she accepted Jesus, the more humbled I felt. I got to do the fun part. But that part, that moment of decision, wouldn’t have been if not for all of the people who prayed in past and present for her salvation. They did the hard work, I had the easy job, the privileged role and it’s an honor. Each time I’ve been able to pray with people to receive the Lord, it’s an honor, because each time is a miracle.

I have to admit, when it comes to people over 40, I’ve had less faith at times for their conversions. It’s stupid of me really. I just haven’t seen as much and often think people are settled in their ways. 🤷‍♀️ But as I reflected on this lie I’ve believed, I was reminded of another former co-worker. She was in her late 50s/early 60s. And the timing was just right.

I had been sharing on and off with her and began praying more…then one day, she asked to speak privately with me about God. I had actually prayed for her all that weekend, and God had done it, He prepared and awakened her. Before finding time at the end of the day I messaged people to pray. It was again the Africans, Russians, and American group as well as some local friends.

When we went in that room the grace was there and I spoke freely, sharing the Gospel and other spiritual Truths as I went. Towards the end, I asked her what she wanted…just like the woman above…would she like prayer or would she like to repent and have Jesus in her life right now? I don’t know why, but I often expect them to back down and just allow me to pray for them….but surprisingly, they don’t. In those God-ordained moments—they’re ready. It’s like reaching up and picking a ripe apple from a tree. The tree did all of the work forming and growing the apple, I just need to grab it. So we prayed. That woman too received Jesus that day, I still smile when I think of her joy. I still remember how unlikely it seemed, and how evident it was that God had prepared her all that weekend (she shared several stories with me before we prayed and it was clear: He did it). He made her aware and ready. He answered the prayers that had been prayed, so by the time we sat down, the hard part was already done. My work was easy. 🍎

I’m sharing about these two women in particular for two reasons 1) because of the recency of one of them, while I’m reminded of this other and 2) because I’m not unaware of the labor that preceded my work.

I’ve had the honor to lead many people to Jesus 1:1, in smaller groups, on street corners, or while ministering in larger gathering. It is an honor and a gift, but it never happens if there hasn’t first been a labor of prayer from others. Some of these I know the details, I’ve seen their pivotal moments of how/when Jesus really made Himself real. And others I’ve not been able to know the full story (like the larger gatherings).

I remember another, a man, who actually died before I could ever share with him 🥺 He was one of my hospice patients. He had been rapidly changing and God so deeply impressed him on my heart. You would think this would happen a lot with hospice patients dying left and right, but honestly it didn’t. 🤷‍♀️ Anyway, one day while doing his meds, the Lord prompted me to gather them in his room instead. I then struck up a conversation about God. He listened. It was clear he wasn’t saved but was questioning. In the end, we prayed, but not for salvation. I didn’t feel he was ready, but he was close. Knowing his days were coming to a close, I messaged the intercessors. Many prayed. Days later, he was hospitalized for a pain crisis and died shortly after. My heart sank a bit and I wrestled with wondering “should I have pushed a bit?” But I knew it wasn’t quite there…

About a week later I was sitting in a cubby on the 4th floor of the hospital he died in doing some charting. A chaplain I knew came up to me full of excitement. He asked if I had heard about what had happened with this man…Full of joy he told me that just before dying, the man’s sister, (who he had always referred to as “a little weird” and I had wondered if they were Christians), had come to see him in the hospital. They talked and she was able to lead him to the Lord. In the chaplains words “he received Jesus as his Lord and Savior!” 🙌

I wept 😭 I still get tearful thinking of him 🥲and this was 5/10/15. I get emotional because I labored in prayer, but it wasn’t for me to be “the apple picker.”🍏 And if not for the chaplain, I wouldn’t have known, at least not on this side of eternity. I was so overwhelmed that day at the goodness of God to answer the prayer of so many, to let me know the man was safe, and more than anything that He gave this praying sister (who I never knew or met) the honor to be the one to pray with him. Glory to God. ❤️

I’m sharing these because I’m excited for my friend who has told several that she’s “walking with God now.” How he revealed Himself to her that day is really hers to tell…It was so beautiful. And it’s unique. They all are. He meets each one where they are and opens their eyes to exactly what they need to see to understand He is God. In those moments, those precious minutes when they are looking at their own soul soberly in a mirror, they find the Truth and the Truth sets them free to their new life in Christ. 🙌 There’s no more room to hide or deny…they can if they want…but why would you when you are suddenly aware of His Presence and Love? He draws them to repentance with His kindness. He lets them See His hand and they become undone by it.

Leading people to Jesus isn’t hard if you’re willing. But it’s impossible without His Spirit first preparing the ground of their hearts, and most often, that’s done behind the scenes through prayer and perhaps a witness or two in their lives. It could be just one dedicated intercessor praying for years, or it could be a sudden bombardment of many for a short time, but whichever the case, I can assure you—every soul that come into the kingdom is there through the labor of more than the harvester. 💪

“So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. ⁸ The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor.” 1 Cor 5:7-9

I believe the roles are interchangeable. How many times I have prayed for the lost far exceeds the amount I’ve seen come to Jesus in person. But it all counts. It’s all part of the same work. There’s no lesser or greater role, the end result simply doesn’t come if all the pieces don’t work together.

So I want to leave you with this, as I continue to rejoice over my friend: do the work. Pray for the lost whenever God puts them on your heart! It’s NOT lost or in vain. Follow up on His promptings to reach out. Be bold, acknowledge and respect where people are, but at the same time be willing to offer to pray WITH them, not just for them. Have the conversations, take the time, meet up with them. Love them into the Kingdom. You may prepare the way at times and other times you may pick the fruit. Both are necessary.

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,” 1 Peter 3:15

Rejoice with me today, and as always, thanks for stopping by. 🙂

Yesterday was an odd day 🤔 I only had my daughter and decided to run a few errands. I had some gift cards for PetSmart and another store both in the same parking lot.

As we entered the first store, I heard a loud noise, kind of like when you hear garbage trucks picking up and dropping industrial sized bins. I looked around but didn’t see the source. 🤷‍♀️

🚨 “BrrrrrrrrrrrrRAAAAAAAAAAAA WeeeeOOOO WeeeeeOOOOO WeeeeOOOOO” sirens started several minutes later.

I honestly didn’t even connect the sound we had heard and the sirens because of the time lapse. We exited the first store and drove half a block to the next sirens still blaring. It was there that we found out what had happened…

A car had driven through the glass into the Verizon store. 😧 We had to pass the front to get to our last destination while flight for life came in overhead. The scene was sobering 😔

In thinking on this it struck me how quickly life can change…One minute you’re running errands or picking out a new phone when suddenly…💥That day is like no other, it’s unpredictable…Yet it happens/will happen to us all. Maybe “it” won’t be as dramatic as this incident, but something eventually comes…it’s a phone call saying “I’m sorry but…” It’s a diagnosis…It’s the day they let you go from you job…And sometimes it’s so much less but the impact feels similar. Whatever it may be, can I just say one thing loud and clear: IT HAPPENS TO US ALL. There’s not a single person on the face of the planet, no matter the depth of their faith or lack there of that won’t at some point experience these “suddenly” moments.

In those moments, as the grief, shock, and waves emotions flood your mind, they are often accompanied by un-invited thoughts, some rather strong accusations…

“Where were you God?”

“You could’ve prevented this, God.”

“Why me? What did I do to deserve…”

If this sounds familiar, I’m sorry. 😔 And I want to say, I know these thoughts because I’ve had them hit me too. Recently, in fact. And do you know where they come from? Trauma. Trauma is a spirit and it whispers accusations of God in vulnerable times. It knows that if it can get you to assign a deep emotion to these thoughts, in these moments, it can begin to build a fortress to fight *against* God in your mind.

“The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but I have come that they may have life abundant” John 10:10

Last week Saturday my husband found one of our ewes was in labor, although it had stalled. Protruding out was a water-bag with the head of a dead ram lamb. It was the “steal, kill, and destroy” part of that verse 😣 This was not how I had envisioned my first lambing season. I made some calls for quick advice and we went to work to help remove the stuck dead lamb and retrieve the other. As she emerged I could see she was still alive. We worked as fast and as hard as we could to get her out, but to no avail. The bag broke and I couldn’t grab hold of a leg. I watched as her lips slowly turned blue, and I knew we were losing her. 🥺 When we finally got her out, she was clearly gone, yet I couldn’t help but hope for a miracle 🤷‍♀️ Completely conscious of God’s nearness, fully expecting as we had been praying through the delivery, my heart and mind paused… “Save her, Lord,” I thought. And as I looked down on the cold lifeless little lamb, I did what didn’t make sense in the natural and gave her a little CPR. We knew she was gone…but I felt full of faith that God would awaken her…🙌

But the sweet little lamb never revived 😔 Disappointed and feeling defeated, we removed the bodies and switched into preservation mode. At the very least, I was determined not to lose my ewe in addition. It was a day of re-arranging, changing plans, adjusting things as fast as we could to get to our Saturday night worship, even though I wasn’t exactly feeling it 😕

I was sad. A little shocked still. And as we worked through the day, one of those trauma thoughts hit me….”You could’ve prevented this, God.” For a moment, I sat with it and allowed the anger bubble up 😠 Then I stopped it with the Truth. ✋ Yes, He could’ve prevented it, but He didn’t. And even if I didn’t agree or like it, I knew somehow it was ok and decided to push that thought out. 👋

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Cor 10:5

Here’s the thing, the trauma thought I had, that accusation against God–It’s not that it’s a completely invalid thought. It’s actually got some merit. God IS Almighty and He can prevent bad things, yet He doesn’t prevent them all. Bad, shocking, unfair and ugly things DO happen even to godly people. We have to remember, we are no different than the people of the Bible….

Remember Job, who lost EVERYTHING in a day?

Remember Noah who watched everything and everyone outside of the ark drown?

Remember young Ruth whose husband died? Or Paul in prison? John beheaded? Jesus….crucified?

These things weren’t prevented. They were allowed. And you might not like to hear that, it may not seem right to your emotions, grief, or plans. But if these very bad things had never happened, we would actually be in a worse state than we are now. 😟

If Job hadn’t suffered as a righteous man, we might think that we ONLY suffer when we are in sin. If God hadn’t purged an unprecedented level of wickedness from the earth, sparing the few righteous that remained, where would justice be? And in Ruth’s tragedy, we see a picture of our coming Messiah, God’s mercy, when her kinsman redeemer comes. And Jesus, the most righteous of all, what if He wasn’t crucified? There would’ve been no resurrection, no redemption…😰

This blog could get really REALLY long if I expound on how Biblical and *necessary* it is that we suffer at times. So I’m going to try and cut this short. As James says, suffering perfects our faith. In the moments of hurt, trial, grief and loss, we have a choice to make–we can choose to remember the Truth about Who God really is, or we can allow our situation to change His value. Think about that. 🤯

Jesus said “In this life you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world!” John 16:33

Paul said “I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain the resurrection from the dead.” Phil 3:10.

Later in the day last week, after my lambs died (and I do realize how small this may sound to some of you–that a dead lamb could strike a nerve, but it did 😬)—I was praying on and off during the day preparing to go to worship. For some, it wouldn’t make sense, why go worship a God who just let you down? 🙄 To me, it still makes sense. I worship a God who is worthy because He is worthy 🙌 I worship and sing praises because even though it was sad–they were His lambs anyway. 🤷‍♀️ He formed them in their mother, He decided their fate, and although He gave them briefly–they were rightfully His to take away. They were only mine to steward, and I did that as best as I knew how. For me, this brought such closure… “they’re not my lambs anyway,” and if they’re not mine lambs, then they’re God’s and He can do with them what He wills. Who am I to tell another what to do with their belongings?

We had such a powerful night worshipping in a town hall that night. While emotionally it took me a minute to reconcile the day, I wasn’t going to let a “suddenly” steal my praise. Having been through far worse in magnitude and length of time, the lambs were actually a very small thing. Yet, things don’t have to be big for trauma to come…and when trauma comes…remember to take it captive and show it the door so it doesn’t take hold of your spirit and slowly lead you into destruction.

“Suddenly” happens to us all. The righteous and the unrighteous. It happens for reasons we don’t understand. Harder still, is that it will always be “suddenly,” it will always feel like you were ready to face anything but *that* (whatever thing that happens). It WILL catch you off guard, it’s designed to, if even for a moment…

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance….so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything…” James 1:2-4

Last thought regarding the above verses…I think we often associate them with dramatic events, huge things like being imprisoned for our faith. And I think for most of us, it’s not that, it’s the average disappointments in life, a build up of hurts and learning to manage and reconcile them. It’s not always the “Suddenly,” although it can be.

So today, If you’re on the mountain top, rejoice, and if you’re in the valley–rejoice all the more! God is holding you. If you have breath in your lungs, it’s because God has enabled it, use it to praise Him. He’s worthy, always. 🙌

Total aside: please don’t feel bad about the little lambs. I don’t anymore. 🙃 My prayer was that God would redeem them and I’ve already seen some of this, which maybe I’ll share some other time 😉 Give God your hurts and trust Him to redeem them. He is the master of extracting good from the most unthinkably dark things when we let Him.🙌Silence trauma. Trust the Truth. ❤️

As always, thanks for stopping by.

On Dec 2nd of 2022, we drove for 1.5 hours to a friend’s house to pick out a ram. Only 2 months prior to this we had brough home our very first sheep–3 katahdin ewes. From the get go this was the plan: purchase the girls, go back for a ram, let him breed, then take him to be butchered. This is because we don’t want a ram on our property full time for now, for various reasons.

When we arrived, our friend had about 50 rams separated out into a pen. He handed us a sheet of paper with all of the rams’ stats (birth weight, weaning weight, twin/triplet, etc). Per our system, I handed it to my engineer husband who meticulously reviewed the numbers as I eyed up the gentlemen in front of me. There were some remarkable animals, with various colors, beard lengths, and bulkiness. I was impressed, but I waited for the data. We wanted the best genetics in case we’d keep back any of the ram’s offspring. My husband had it narrowed down to 3. I looked them over. I chose the most average looking one, no notable flaws, but nothing flashy either. This was strategic on my end because we already knew his purpose: breed and butcher. I thought anything I could do to make the process easier was worth it. Having an “eye-candy” ram just seemed wrong.

Unfortunately, eye-candy or not, there was grief involved as his final days approached. He’d done nothing wrong. He didn’t seem to be aggressive. Maybe he was the type of ram you can keep around and never have issues with? I don’t know. From all I’ve heard and read, they can turn so quickly…All of that aside, we had already committed him to butcher both to our friend who sold him cheaper knowing we’d come back next year and to our other friend who was planning to use him at Passover.

Feb 17, 2023 my husband woke early and loaded our guy to drive down the road for processing. I’m so thankful he’s willing/able to do that, because I don’t think I could’ve loaded him. He was the first animal they processed. He didn’t have to wait in a scary place for hours, he didn’t suffer. He fulfilled his purpose. The following day I went to pick up his hide. While I had never tanned a hide before, it felt like it was something worth trying as a way to use more of the animal. It seemed like a way to honor a life given. I felt the weight of death–the cost of farm to table–more up close than I ever had before, and I didn’t want it to be lessened. Cheapened. Easier. It seemed right to feel the sacrifice.

I think for many of us, we are so far removed from the “farm to table” concept that we miss out on a deeper understanding of what it costs the animal. For them, it’s everything. When we take the life of an animal we’ve raised, we aren’t just killing an animal and filling our freezer. We’re making a decision to end a life–a healthy life–one that we’ve come to know and invest in. It’s not easy, but I don’t think it should be. I feel there’s a measure of respect we owe any living creature we choose to dispatch. A measure of gratitude that’s hard to get in touch with when we simply go to the store and pick up a package of meat. When I went to the butcher and picked up our ram, there was a mix of emotion, both excitement and remembrance. I knew this animal, which was both sad and satisfying.

When we sat down to celebrate Passover this year, I felt differently. I thought of our ram, and I thought of all of the sacrifices that occurred pre-Jesus. For a family to take their very best animal and sacrifice it was no small thing. I look at my small flock and think of who I’d get rid of if I had to 🤔 (Aster because she’s hardest to handle). But when I think of my BEST sheep, hands down it would be Daisy–her body type is perfect, she’s an experienced mama, with a very mild temperament. To sacrifice Daisy would not only be costly, it would hurt 😣 Yet, that’s what God required of the Jews. He asked them, year after year, for their best.

Even though I only have a small number of livestock, this concept is mind-blowing 🤯 It would have required such faith and obedience to have given your BEST. Not the one with a bum leg, the bad mom, or the blind sheep—your very best—the one you’d hope to have 10 of. To remove the most promising genetics from your flock doesn’t just cost you upfront, you’d literally be trusting that God would compensate for the loss. That somehow if you honored Him and trusted him with your best, He would return and restore it.

These sacrifices weren’t just an impact to herd genetics, there was something much deeper…When the Israelites gave their best, they trusted that God would in turn Passover their sins, just as He had during the plagues of Egypt. They trusted that through their sacrifice, they would be made righteous in God’s sight. I wonder if they knew that as they did this year after year, God was waiting for just the right time to send the final Passover lamb…I wonder if they dreaded the cost every year or if they looked forward to the other side of the sacrifice—their right standing…🤔

“Behold the lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world” John 1:29

“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.” Rom 5:6

Taking this concept even farther, thinking about God the Father giving His best–His only Son–His absolutely perfect only Son as a sacrifice is something I can’t really wrap my head around 🥺

The animal experience brings this closer to my heart, but my son is a whole different level…Yet, God gave. He satisfied righteousness and judgment in one final sacrifice: His pure and faultless Son.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever would believe in Him would not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

I’m not sure if sharing this will help anyone connect deeper to the sacrifice that was made or not, or if it’s just for me, but I hope it does. 🤷‍♀️ I hope if you can’t relate to something so great as giving your only son, that maybe you can tap into the emotion of an animal sacrifice. That perhaps you can look at your cat or dog and think of giving them up, as a covering for your sin, and what that would take…the emotion behind it…the faith…and maybe you can pause and reflect a little differently this year—with a little more thanks—because you don’t have to. 🙌 God is not asking for the blood of animals anymore. The cost of sin has been dealt with—our debt is paid—and we owe it all to Him. ❤️🙌

Thank you Jesus. Thank you for being our sacrificial Lamb. This Passover season, we choose to remember the cost, that life is not cheap. And in exchange we offer ourselves as living sacrifices, that you might receive more honor and glory through our lives laid down. Thank you that death had no claim on you, we celebrate YOU, a risen Savior. Our perfect Lamb.

As always, thanks for stopping by.

The other night was the first night EVER that I was aware of the coyotes being right beside our property. “Yipp Yipp Yaoooooow!” I couldn’t believe how close they were 😟, usually we can hear them down the hill on the marsh, but this time I could tell they were very near. I’m not scared of them, but I do get a little nervous about them trying to kill our sheep or having a confrontation with our dogs 😬 We have an electric fence perimeter and 2-100+lb livestock guardian dogs, but even with that we could still have an issue.

Shortly after I heard them, my husband came in from being outside and shared that he saw 3 coyotes across the road that were calling out to 2 different packs. One group was just over on the neighbors property, and the other farther out on the marsh. I started getting ready for bed when I had a thought…

I wonder if Stanley and Stella (my dogs) know who they are? 🤔

While the breeds we choose are meant to be guardians, capable of taking on a few coyotes, we’ve never seen them put to the test. If faced with a problem, would they step up and handle it, or would they cower?

Suddenly scriptures came to my mind “…be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” 1 Peter 5:8. But what happens then? The way I see it, the answer depends on one thing: Do we know who we are?

I’m not going to write on “your identity in Christ” because there’s entire books and studies on the topic, but I want to ask the question again: Do YOU know who you are?

When Jesus, Som of God, walked the earth, He did it as a man who was fully convinced about who He was (and is). As a young boy, when Jesus wandered off and was later found by Mary and Joseph in the synagogue He told them that He was there being about His Father’s business. As He continued to grow in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man (Luke 2) His confidence seemed to increase. After being baptized in accordance with the scriptures, we see Jesus tempted by Satan and overcoming with one weapon: the Word of God. With each assault, he quoted scripture and sliced the deceptions straight through. Then over and over in His ministry, Jesus not only quoted scripture, but continued to fulfill it despite the growing persecution. When wrestling at the garden of Gethsemane, again, we see Jesus knowing who He is as He chooses to submit to the Father and endure all wrath–why? Because He knew who He was. He knew if He continued to obey the Father, He would be handsomely rewarded. He knew the Father’s way was best. He knew He was the redemption and reconciliation for all of mankind. 🙌

“For as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many were made righteous.” Rom 5:19

Jesus was able to live an overcoming life, in part, because He knew who He was. He knew His mission, His purpose, His identity, and His authority. 💪

But what if He hadn’t? 😟 Can you imagine if Jesus would’ve refused to let John baptize Him? Or if He had caved to Satan in the wilderness? If He allowed the demons to harass Him? Or what if He had refused the cross?

“The Lord God has opened my ear, and I was not rebellious, I turned not backward.” Isa 50:5

“…therefore, I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.” Isa 50:7

Thankfully, none of this was the case, and I think in part that was because He was convinced of who He was. He was committed to fulfilling His calling as well as obeying His Father.

So, what about you? What about me?

Back to the dogs for a moment…

Early on when we only had Stanley, I noticed a funny pattern of behavior. If a wandering animal or a person showed up, he would bark like crazy, but he wouldn’t always go investigate. YET… the minute I would step out onto the porch he would take off and rush whatever it was with full force. I didn’t understand this, and at times it was troublesome, because I didn’t always want him to confront certain things, so I asked some experts on LGD behavior. What they said: “When you go outside he runs to confront ‘threats’ because he feels safe. Once you step out onto the porch, he knows he has backup and he becomes fearless.”

Wow 😮

After the resurrection, Jesus said:

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS, to the end of the age” Mat 28:18 (emphasis added)

And now from Hebrews:

“But recall…after you were enlightened, you endured hard struggle with sufferings, sometimes being publicly exposed to reproach and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated. For you had compassion on those in prison, and you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one. Therefore, DO NOT throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. For, ‘yet a little while and the coming one will come and not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.’ But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.” Heb 10:32-39

Those guys, the ones mentioned above–they got it 👏🙌 They knew who they were and what their purpose was–and it gave them confidence like Jesus to endure whatever came their way. Endure. Confidence. Confidently Endure. That’s a different kind of Christian than I am sometimes and it’s a different kind of Christian than many I’ve known, though thankfully not all. The kind of Christian that is spoken of in Hebrews, that one is facing things as Jesus did. That kind of Christian is like Stanley when I would go and stand on the porch. Fearless. Unstoppable. 💪🙌

When I was thinking about some of this the other night, as the coyotes were yipping and my dogs were barking, I realized how ashamed I’d feel had there been a confrontation and my dogs retreated. 😔 My dogs have been bred for generations to take on predators with confidence and strength. They were born for situations like packed up coyotes. 💪 And yet, having never found themselves in a true moment of conflict, there’s no telling for certain what they’d do. Would they have it in them to whoop those little coyotes? Would they realize I’ve given them permission to ‘go’ even if I’m not physically there? Does Stanley still need to see me or has his confidence grown? Has he come to know Stella is his backup? 🤔🤷‍♀️

These were some of the things I was pondering in the dark through the barks and the yips…🧐

Thankfully, the coyotes didn’t advance the other night. My dogs weren’t confronted. But someday they will be, if not by coyotes, by something else. And someday, if they haven’t already, the coyotes are going to surround you (and me) too. Only they’ll shape shift into things like a diagnosis, death, mental anguish, disappointment, fear, broken relationships, etc. As Peter says “don’t be surprised when…” And when they do, what will you do? Unfortunately, we don’t get to pick the what or the when’s in life, but we do get to prepare ourselves by building up our faith that when those days come, we are able to stand with confidence.

“We overcome (him-Satan) by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony” Rev 12:11

Or as Derek Prince used to say, “we overcome Satan, we we testify personally to what the word of God says the blood of Jesus does for us.” My friends, “we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls” Heb 10:29. 💪🙌🙌🙌

I never want it to be said of me that I “shrank back,” and I think it’s wise to spend some time thinking about this…A few themes I’ve picked up on to help in that day and hour: be confident of who you are and who He is/what He’s done. Know the Word of God and the promises He has for them that believe.

My friends, if and when the coyotes come, I pray you’re fully prepared and that you do not shrink back. He is with you, always. He is for you. You are an overcomer by His blood and by His Word. The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead is alive in you! Even if all you can do is hold on as I mentioned in my last blog, hold firmly and wait, for the Lord your Deliverer is faithful.

As always, thanks for stopping by. 🙂

Everything was silent, except for the sound of my own heart beat and the air passing through my lungs. The ear plugs and earmuffs had cut off my sense of hearing. I considered my posture. Legs shoulder with apart, slightly bent, arms out–check. Breathe in, breathe out. I squinted a bit to refocus my eyes…my heart continued….baBoom…baBoom…baBoom….Breathe in, breathe out. Safety off–check. As I eyed up the target again, I tried to relax my body and I slowly squeezed the trigger.

BOOM! 💥

I was almost afraid to see the results, 🙈 but I did it. I finally hit the target.

There was a time when I considered myself a pretty good shot, until I got my pistol. Good grief, I was terrible. Like, couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn kind of terrible. 😂 So I took a basic pistol course and got some coaching. I really wasn’t sure if it would help, but it did, I could finally hit a target. For some reason I had become afraid of the recoil, lacked arm strength, add with the added pressure of anyone watching I would miss every time. Until now. I had learned to quiet myself and focus…

In the past, I’ve taught a discipleship class at church. Generally, in my first or second class I would share a story of a sniper that I remember hearing about years back:

Snipers are highly trained individuals. What they attempt to do is take out a target from as far away as possible while not getting killed themselves. To do this, they not only have to train their minds and bodies to settle (like I described above) for the shot, they’ve learned to consider the conditions. The slightest movement, cough, or twitch when pulling the trigger could translate to being miles off target. Snipers have to calculate the distance. What is or what could come between them and their target? Is there any wind? Precipitation? Sometimes they wait days before taking a shot, because often, they’ll only have one chance. Success or failure, they risk exposing themselves and therefore their lives.

As Christians, I think it’s time to issue a reminder to tune out the noise and focus on our target. A reminder to conditions, be aware of distractions and re-commit to success. No one finishes a walk of faith by accident–its calculated. It’s intentional.

I think there are times in our walk when we need to step back and make sure we are on track to hitting the target 🧐

“Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from beginning to end.” Heb 12:2

I don’t always want to transfer all that’s going on around me to a larger scale, BUT I don’t think I’m wrong to do it in this case.

People all around me are missing the target. Heck, they’re not just missing it, they’re laying down their firearm and walking away without even taking a shot. 😖 They feel a sprinkle of rain or have an itch and suddenly they’re aborting the entire mission–forgetting what they came for in the first place. 😨

“O foolish Glatians! Who has bewitched you?” Gal 3:1

As of late, I’ve seen ministries divide (not my first time), marriages coming undone, and friends denying Christ. Some of this I’ve expected, but some has so deeply blind-sided me that all I can do is pray through the grief 😞 We can’t control what others do, I know that, but when other believers fall, fail, and turn away–it effects us all and it’s grieving the heart of God.

If this hasn’t been your experience, don’t be surprised when it comes. Don’t be surprised at who falls and who’s left standing. In fact, stop ✋, stop looking at them all together because if you’re paying too much attention–you might join them! These days, I’ve actually lowered my personal standard, not because I don’t want God to use me for salvations, signs, wonders, and miracles, but because I trust that when God wants to do those things–He will. It’s independent of my striving. So for now–I’ve lowered the bar. I’ve simplified the goal of my faith to one thing: FINISH THE RACE. 💪🙏🙌 To be clear, this doesn’t mean I won’t still pursue God, holiness, etc, but what it means is that holding on to the end—it’s enough for me. Simply staying the course and holding on in today’s atmosphere is no longer a small thing.

Isn’t that so pathetic? I honestly think so 🙈😂In some ways I struggle to share this, but at the same time, I don’t. Because I’m not ashamed. I’m not ashamed of having to rely on God’s righteousness, over my works. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m just as human and weak as the next person. I’m not ashamed to say that I don’t have it all together–and that while you’d think after some number of years you’d be a “better” Christian–in some ways I’m worse! Oh how I can echo Paul in these days compared to how I used to be able to boast in myself. And I think that’s actually a good thing, not good that I fail, but that I no longer rely on myself to succeed. 🙌 I look at my lack of discipline or intrusive thoughts at times and think how unrecognizable I would be to my young zealous self. BUT…I’m still here…🙂 and I’m committed, however sloppy it looks, I will continue.

One thing I’ve found through the years is that faith sometimes comes down to one thing: hold on. If I don’t let go, He won’t. I’ve seen so many I thought would never fall or fail denounce Jesus in the past 15 years…I’ve had to remind myself that I too could be deceived, get distracted, and miss my target if I’m not vigilant. My friends–it doesn’t take much. If in this time you start to believe little teeny tiny lies about God, it could translate over time (distance) to being so far off that you don’t make it.

“Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons…1 Tim 4:1

“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you…” 1 Peter 4:12

“In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart, I have overcome the world. ” John 16:33

Jesus never EVER prepared us for a life of comfort on earth. Rather He used the promise of comfort for *eternity* to encourage us through the DISCOMFORT we’d experience on earth. And here’s what gets me–of my own sufferings–I can’t imagine doing them without God. In those times of weeping, wondering where He is, deep hurts and disappointments, there’s been a choice to make: affirm faith or deny it.

We, the Church, are in a time of sifting by trials as Jesus prepares His Bride for His return. I know this may sound a little crazy, but I assure you, it’s Biblical. Jesus is coming for a pure and devoted Bride who is standing firm on the Rock. Even if she doesn’t think she can stand any longer–He will give the grace to stand if the inner desire is to do so.

While I realize this isn’t the most coherent blog I’ve ever composed, I think it’s one of the more important and urgent ones. We need to pause for a minute and count the cost of following Jesus to the end. Are you in? Can I encourage you to re-commit yourself to Him? And make up your mind now that no matter WHAT comes, you’ll finish. I’m not even going to say “finish strong,” because I myself have dropped that part in weakness knowing that if I can just finish…as long as I don’t let go….He will keep me. And I can say this–in my darkest hours, days, weeks, months–He’s been faithful to do this. He’s kept me through, and He will do the same for you–provided you don’t let go. My friends, don’t let go! Refuse to allow the conditions of your mind, soul, body, or this world effect your eternal destination.

The stakes are high. The road is narrowing. And for believers around the world–it’s been this way the whole time and they’ve still said yes. For believers around the world who’ve witnessed the martyrdom of friends and family, been forced out of homes as refugees, been beaten and imprisoned, what we are facing now in America as the great falling away unfolds is small. And that’s not to say that my struggles and yours aren’t real and valid–they are–but rise up. Fix your eyes on your target and set your face as flint. As Joshua says “choose today whom you will serve,” make up your mind that no matter what hardships come–you’ll finish the race because beloved–they’re coming. They’re here and they’re coming as we’ve never seen them before…but so is sufficient grace 🙌 So is strength and courage 🙌 And so is such a pure fellowship that you’ll wonder why you ever settled for superficial/fake fellowship 🙌❤️. In times of great hardship, our God ALWAYS supplies. He is not looking for us to fail, He will ALWAYS step in, so long as we continue to look to Him💪🙌. But be warned, if you take your eyes off of Him now or in the coming days–you’re risking it all and just like Peter–you might start to sink.😨

Will you join me in this season of life by saying “I’m in” and re-commit for the long haul? That no matter what happens, who falls away, how we are persecuted or misunderstood, that we will choose two things: to love God and love people…even when it hurts? And in doing so, we will stand firm until the end. Just like the target shooter analogy, commit yourself to tune out the world and all of its noise that you might hit the target. 💪

“And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of most will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.” Mat 24:12-13

Lastly, if you are questioning, wrestling with thoughts, or circumstances, can I just encourage you to talk to someone? Find a friend who you feel comfortable with and let it out, no matter how ugly it is. You may be surprised to find that you’re not alone, like the enemy would have you think. And if you don’t have someone–reach out to me. 🙂 Text, call, FB message, or for my overseas friends whom I’ve never met–email me. I’m happy to do for you what some have so lovingly done for me.

Until next time, hold on, and thanks for stopping by.

I choked back tears, and I felt dumb for it 🙈

“I think this is exactly what you’re supposed to be doing right now. I think it’s part of your gifting even if people don’t understand it,” she said. ‘She’ happens to be my best friend, and although she’s halfway across the world, she’s one of few people who really know me.

I had just shared with her that I have a big to-do list, but that all I really wanted to do was sit with my new flock of sheep 🙈😂 Yesterday afternoon when I went to feed them was so special, they not only allowed me to pet them, but one of them actually ran to me when I called! 🙌🙌🙌 I know this may sound silly, but stick with me for a minute and God-willing, I hope to share something of value…

They are learning my voice, and slowly, as we sit together in the pasture–they’re learning who I am.

Sheep are naturally curious creatures, which can get them into trouble but also pushes them to allow people to approach. However, because they are also prey animals, they are not quick to trust. They flee with any quick or uncertain movement. They watch closely and listen to your voice day by day, seeing if they can trust you.

“His sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will flee from him because they do not recognize his voice.” John 10:4-5

I thought of this verse as I was filled with joy yesterday 🥹🥲 Then, I remembered how just 2 weeks prior it was a very different story. The first night we brought them home, 2 of them got out. It was dark out, and I initially doubted we’d ever find them alive. While we were able to get them back with the help of some friends, it would’ve been a much less scary had they already known me, but they didn’t, they hadn’t had time to…

In the days that followed, I made sure to talk to the sheep in passing. Even if I couldn’t sit with them, I knew they could at least start learn my voice.

“I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me,” John 10:14

Jesus only used a handful of names to describe himself in scripture, one being The Good Shepherd. And while I can hardly call myself a shepherd after less than 14 days of sheep ownership 😂 there are a few things that I can say regarding our relationship.

• The Good Shepherd insists that His sheep KNOW Him. This isn’t a superficial ‘know’ like being able to recognize Him, it’s a deeper knowing evidenced by following.

“His sheep follow him because they know his voice…” John 10:4

“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

• The Good Shepherd DESPERATELY wants His sheep to trust Him. He knows what they need and is happy to provide it–when they come to Him. **He rejoices when they come running**

“Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents (turns towards God)” Luke 15:10

“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing” Zeph 3:17

• The Good Shepherd knows His sheep. They’ve spent time together. It’s not a one-way relationship, He can not only recognize them, He knows their personalities.

“Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ 23 Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you.” Mat 10:22-23

“And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you…’ Mat 7:23

• The Good Shepherd knows that all of the above (sheep know Shepherd, sheep trust Shepherd, Shepherd knows sheep) is essential for the safety of the sheep. Because sheep are curious prey animals, troubles and predators abound. His oversight is critical to their well-being.

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. “ John 10:27-28

So while I’m aware that any of you who have attended church are familiar with the above, when you walk it out live, it’s different. It’s like the difference between reading a book and going to see it acted out as a play.

My heart sunk a little the first night when my sheep were missing. 😔 It wasn’t just the humiliation of losing my sheep hours after bringing them home, it was the thought of harm coming to them, and that they’d never be here to fulfill their purpose. 😞 Before we had ever even seen them, we had invested in them, much like God. We made plans, we prepared a place, and we provided payment to bring them to us.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

Before God knows us, He invests in us. He sets forth a plan and a purpose filled with good intentions (Jer 29:11) and He promises to see us through the darkness to the other side where He’s prepared a place for us (John 14).

While there are many facets of God’s heart, His Shepherd heart is not only Good, it’s beautiful. ❤️ If what I felt in recent days as I’ve experienced my sheep beginning to recognize, turn to, and finally run towards me is any indication of what God feels as we get to know and respond to Him–it’s overwhelming 🥹🥲. Your response towards the Good Shepherd overwhelms His heart with joy—I feel I can say that with confidence! God longs for you to say ‘I trust You.’ Even the smallest indication that the girls were allowing me to come closer, when they’d pause for a moment to look at me and not run away, excited me. It filled me with hope that we were gaining ground. 🤗🙌

God desires to know us, because God desires to save us. Scripture is clear–there is a difference between ‘know of’ and knowing intimately. Early on, when we lost my sheep in the dark, the only thing that would’ve made that situation NOT urgent, NOT dire, was if they had had a chance to know me. IF my sheep had known my voice, perhaps they would’ve come when I called. But instead, in that moment, they were in the most dangerous place they’d ever been in, and they didn’t even know it.

There isn’t room in this post to expound upon everything that could be, but I’m hoping I’ve at least laid the ground work to leave you with this: God is a Good Shepherd. Learn His voice and get to know Him while it’s still light out. Whether you die first or Jesus returns, allow the Good Shepherd to lead you to safety before once again a deep darkness covers the earth. If you don’t know Him in the light, you’ll be afraid to follow Him in the night.

As always, thanks for stopping by.

“Do you want to keep it?” I heard the Lord whisper to me. “Yes! Of course!” I shouted inside.

I was standing in the front row of a worship service when I suddenly realized my feet had no more pain. Just moments before this, my feet were hurting so badly I was about to take a seat, only I felt drawn to the front and decided to go forward instead. There was no special altar call or anything, just a prompting to go forward. As I did, I could feel the weight of God’s Presence amplify. I wasn’t really praying anything particular, it was one of those rare moments where I knew God was near and I was focused on one thing: not losing Him.

Ever since being pregnant my feet sorta fell apart. The relaxed ligaments coupled with hard floors at home and work led to some pretty gnarly plantar fasciitis. I learned quickly to wear supportive footwear, even in the house, at all times. Flat shoes, barefoot, or sandals for an hour would lead to several days of pain. If I did all the right things, I often didn’t have symptoms. But for some reason in the spring of this year, that started to change and even when I did everything right–I had pain. The pain was almost constant, and instead of setting in after several hours of being up and about, I was having moderate to severe pain in my feet before even getting out of bed. It had been so bad that I was debating on making an appointment, but I knew there wasn’t much that could be done.

Until that Wednesday night…when I didn’t even ask…and God miraculously healed me.

“My mouth will declare your righteousness and your salvation all day long, though I cannot know thier full measure.” Ps 71:15

“Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works!” Ps 105:1-2

It’s been several months since then, and while most of my shoes are supportive anyway, I’ve been barefoot. I don’t wear supportive footwear in the house. And it’s still gone. And that’s why I’m writing this, because someone recently mentioned my feet as if they were still bad, and I realized how amazing and significant it is that they are in fact, 100% good.

I’ve been miraculously healed one other time in my life, in my lower back. This was a fairly severe and very painful disc issue from a lifting injury. I had seen a few doctors and been prescribed narcotics just to be able to sit during my lengthy 3 hour labs in college. I was constantly squirming because the pressure when sitting for too long was not tolerable. This was so severe that I nearly cancelled my first missions trip thinking 1) I may need back surgery and 2) If I do, I needed to do it while still on my parents insurance. Not only that, I struggled thinking about how I would get through an 18 hour plane ride…

Before leaving for Africa, my team and I spent a week in Georgia for training. We slept on plywood bunks. Literally. No mattress. I was in agony, but I was determined to be in Swaziland. One night while worshiping, as we did every evening, a man came up to the mic and said “someone here has severe back pain, and the Lord wants to heal you now.” My heart was racing, and somehow my hand shot up in the air. Within minutes people were circled all around me praying as the tears rolled down my face. In the morning, I woke, still in some pain, but slightly better. I remember thinking “I wonder if it worked?”

Fast forward a few weeks. Our team was settled in Swaziland and we had a special night planned–we went out for pizza. I vividly remember sitting on a wooden bench for about 2 hours, when suddenly I realized I wasn’t squirming. I hadn’t changed position. The pain was GONE. And it hit me–it had been pain free for the entire trip. The pain wasn’t there on the plane ride or in the van rides. It wasn’t there in the morning or when I was moving about. It was gone! As I sat there recalling the evening of worship, God’s Presence, the man who had the word of knowledge, the people who prayed, and how life changing this entire experience was–I wept. Right there in the pizza place I just burst into tears. I then of course had to explain this to my team, but it was ok–it was good–they were good tears!

When I think of both of these situations, there’s a few things I know and a whole lot of things I don’t know. What I do know is God is good and He desires to meet with us and bless us. I also know that I didn’t deserve a miracle, let alone two. I remember asking for my back to be healed, but I don’t ever recall asking about my feet. In both cases, God didn’t have to heal me, He doesn’t owe us anything, although He does make provision for everything. And while there’s no formula to receiving healing, I can’t help but think about how vital it is to be in His Presence. While this could be a Sunday church service, I think many times it’s not. Often it’s the “extracurricular” times, special chunks of time set aside for worship and prayer either alone or corporately when we are perhaps not so focused on our needs, an order of service, or when the next music will stop, but more focused on finding God. When you’re desperate for God–you look for more of Him–a timed Sunday service once a week isn’t enough. Call me crazy, but I think it moves God’s heart when we make the extra time to be with Him.

I also want to say, I have had other chronic conditions that have not been miraculously healed. I’ve had surgeries and used medications. I’ve wrestled in prayer for healing for myself or others with definite knowledge of what scripture says and have seemingly come up empty handed. I can’t explain this. It’s not like I didn’t find ways to find God’s Presence during these times as well. There are some things that we can’t explain and will never understand. And despite this, I trust Him.

Anyway, my purpose here really isn’t to get into healing doctrine(s). God was, is, and always will be a healer. He hasn’t and will never change (Mail 3:6). My purpose really is to say echo Ps 71:15 and say “look what the Lord has done,” because He healed me. And I’m still healed and so very thankful for it. I also want to give a nudge to believers to take the extra step–find ways–find places where you can take time out to really worship God. So much can change if we only take time to position ourselves…

As always, thanks for stopping by.

For days I’ve been trying to sneak away to write down some of this season’s ‘garden tales.’ I don’t know why, short analogies like these can be so profound to me. Then again, I suppose anything God whispers to us feels like that…🤔

“Before they call I will answer;
while they are still speaking I will hear.” Isa 65:24

Ground cherries have become a favorite in our garden. Last year I planted them from seed with great results. This year, however, twice I seeded pots with new seed. Nothing grew. Not a single sprout 😰😒 I was frustrated, but resigned myself to the idea that we just wouldn’t have any this year. 😔

Then, while weeding the garden, I noticed some familiar looking ‘weeds.’ They were volunteer ground cherry plants, seeds left in the soil from unharvested fruits last year that had sprouted 😃 God planted them, He grew them. He knew before I did and made provision. 🙌

My God is a God who knows what we need (or sometimes just want) before we even ask. He delivers out of His abundance and goodness. Even when it seems there’s nothing, He can, and often does, make a way.

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This year I wanted to plant sunflowers in our ditch. I didn’t have much time to do it, nor did I really know what I was doing. We tilled the ditch, and per my brother-in-law’s advice, we FILLED the ditch with sunflower seeds from a bulk bag for bird feeding. Since planting, one time we watered them, otherwise they’ve been hands off.

The sunflowers have been a low input venture, especially compared to some of the other items we plant. I think often we equate input level with level of success…if we have to work hard, something will thrive. And it’s not always so. 🤔

I’m being reminded as I think about planting these exactly who God is. He is Almighty. We sometimes do all of the right things (like my ground cherries), and nothing comes of it. Other times we cast seed to the wind with half a prayer and there’s a return on it 🤷‍♀️😂I think this is the case when sowing into people’s lives as well. There are times we invest great effort, and we don’t see a return on it, while other times we deposit a nugget of truth, walk away thinking nothing will happen, and suddenly God breathes on it. And so we scratch our heads until we really learn that we are co-laborers, it doesn’t all depend on us. 👏🙌

“For we are co-laborers with God; you are God’s field, God’s building.” 1 Cor 3:9

While we co-labor with God, He really does the heavy lifting. We give some time, small effort, or sacrifice, but He really does the only part that matters–He brings to LIFE–whether tiny garden plants or those dead in their sin. We plant, we water, He gives growth. I think more often than we realize, all God asks is our willingness to scatter seed. If there’s no seed sown, there is no harvest.

As an aside, I firmly believe the earth being in a sowing season, one preceding a great harvest…. Choose to identify yourself with Jesus now. Identify yourself while it’s easy, so people will know who to come to in the coming days…Sow seed wherever you can, this will look different for different people. Give God an opportunity to work with something, it doesn’t have to be polished, He knows how limited we are and can more than make up for our lack. 🙌

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Not all seeds are equal. Some crops require more work, plain and simple. I spend a little extra time each year weeding my onions. I don’t love to weed, mostly I don’t have a lot of time to do it, so it can be frustrating. But I’ve come to find that if I don’t give the onions a little extra care, they are either overcome by weeds or don’t grow up to their potential. It’s hardly worth planting them if I don’t see them through to full size. The same is true of people.

For 17 years I’ve been a born-again believer, and for 17 years I’ve been sharing the Truth of Jesus with people. For 9 years I’ve been gardening “on my own” (I have some help at times, but I’ve slowly become more independent). In 17 years of ministering and 9 years of gardening there is one thing I can say for certain: you never know which will live and which will die.

“So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.” 1 Cor 3:7

We like to think we know which are sure things and give them the most attention, but the truth is, we don’t. 🤷‍♀️ The plants surprise me, as do people. I’ve watched some of the strongest squash plants succumb to powdery mildew. I’ve seen people with great faith fade and fall away. In each case, all it took was the tiniest speck of disease (sin) to get established, and slowly but surely, it leads to their end. If you spend enough time gardening (or tending to people), you can sometimes see it coming, but that doesn’t mean you can stop it. 😔 Often, even if we try to intervene, the best we can do is pray and surrender the crop to the Lord. Some make it…some don’t…😕

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The weeds. Usually we Christian gardeners associate them with sin. The analogy is powerful…how you need to “get to the root” to stop them or they grow back. This lesson burns in you the longer you garden. But this year, I thought differently. This year when gardening, I admired the relentlessness of the weeds. Chop off their tops, they grow back. Pour mulch on them, they grow up from underneath. Dig them up and miss a portion of the root, it returns. Nothing aside from total elimination stops a weed from growing….Imagine if our faith was like that?

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Gardening gives life to so many spiritual Truths. I don’t have time to detail or expound upon them all, but I hope these speak to you as they did me. I wish I could share the moment of impact, when God speaks them to me as I’m looking at a plant or ripping up a weed…it’s always so vivid. Gardening is about so much more than having a fresh food source, gardening teaches us about the Great Gardener, the One who brings life to things (seeds) left in darkness. The One who is in charge of the harvest….So many things come to life in the garden…If you’re reading this and are a Christian, remember, part of why He saved you is that you might co-labor with Him in calling seeds to life.

“…that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9

As always, thanks for stopping by.

It was hot. We had already been working all day on our project. There was pressure to have things settled before night given the nature of things. It was also the day before my dad’s funeral…

The project was to move our grow out chicken coop and run from one side of the property to the other to create space for a shed to be built. The grow out coop, which we call “The Middle School,” houses our chicks from about 6 weeks old through several months when they’re big enough to integrate into the main flock. This is essential when raising birds, because pecking order is a real thing, introducing smaller birds to an established flock would be ugly.

Since we free-range all of our birds during the day, we had to prepare for this move as much as we could in advance. We decided we’d hold the 11 birds (4 ducks and 7 chickens) in our dog kennel as we moved the coop and then erected the new run. The birds had to be contained for the day otherwise they wouldn’t know where “home” was come evening.

As daylight began to dwindle, I started moving their food and water while my husband put the finishing touches on the netting. It was time.

I went to the dog kennel to get the first bird and haul it alllllll the way across our property to the new set up. As I entered the kennel, the birds went wild! There was clucking and quacking, flapping and scratching, and of course, poop being flung everywhere! Each one was doing it’s best to climb on top of the other and avoid my grasp, but they couldn’t. I set my gaze, and snatched up my target no matter how awkward the grasp was. With the exception of 1-2, they settled down as we walked to the other side. Once in the new run, they realized they were still safe as they flapped out of my arms and went to check things out.

These birds had never been on this side of our property. In a way, it didn’t even exist to them. It was completely unknown. As I took them, one by one, they no doubt thought I was taking them to the grave. Their little brains couldn’t possibly conceive of the fact that I–the one who fed them, provided shelter, water, and let them out daily–was actually continuing my goodness towards them. Not only was I looking out for their present needs, but we had taken time, planned, and worked to prepare a place for their future needs, the truth is–this new space–is better than the former. And while it is the same old coop–the run is better, bigger, safer, and has more shade.

Of course, it’s obviously too much for their little brains to understand this. And it was no doubt terrifying to them as each one was removed and they slowly lost the sound of quacking or clucking over the distance….

But oh the relief they must’ve had when they were re-united. Safely. Happily.

And as I was walking this out that evening, the day before my dad’s funeral, I couldn’t help but think of us. How the Lord literally goes before us to prepare a place for us…

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. ² My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? ³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. ⁴ You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4

God has prepared a literal place, a “better coop” so to say, for each of us. His intention is to grab hold of us (much more gently, although some of us kick and scream a bit like my birds) and escort us to our heavenly home someday. He has room, it’s not limited or exclusive in that sense. In fact, the only way it is exclusive is that it is only available for those who believe and have put faith in His Son, Jesus Christ. When we do that, when we trust in Him for the forgiveness of ours sins and our eternal destination, He comes for us.

People have asked me since my dad’s passing “how are you doing?” And I’m sure they know it’s a loaded question and the answer depends on the time of day. If you’ve lost someone you love, you know that grief is like a roller coaster full of ups and downs and twists and turns. And while there are moments of sadness thinking of what we will miss or when looking at pictures, there is actually an inexpressible peace. Even joy at times, which seems weird to say. Not peace or joy because I want him gone, but because if it must be, then at least I know where he is. I know that my dad put his faith in Jesus, I know that Jesus is Faithful and True. I know that as scary and mysterious as death can seem sometimes, it’s actually little more than being carried off in the arms of a Good Shepherd from one side of the yard to the other. We can’t see it from where we sit. We’ve never been there before. We can’t hear from the other “birds” that get there before us. And all of that can be a little unsettling if you don’t know the One who is coming for you. But if you do–if you know Him personally–so many of the questions and fears can be stilled.

That other side, the side where my dad is now, it’s not just a mystical cloudy place where suffering ceases. It’s a real, physical place that is not only void of negative things, but it’s overflowing with positive things–peace, love, joy, and the full Presence of God. How could I be sad about that?

I don’t believe in coincidences either. I find it fitting that as I prayed for several days about what (if anything) to share at his service, that this happened. So often God speaks to me through my animals and the things I’m working on. I did wind up sharing this chicken coop story at his service, and here again now for my own remembrance, as well as for any who couldn’t make it.

Death can be scary for us as individuals, but also for our loved ones, especially if you live life far removed from it. Having been a hospice nurse for years, a lot of what happens on this side isn’t scary to me anymore. And the longer I know the Lord, the stronger my conviction is regarding the other side of life.

We don’t have to live life in fear of death.

“I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.” 1 John 5:13.

I pray for anyone who reads this, that if you’ve never made the decision to trust Jesus with your eternity, that today you would, that you might have confidence when it’s your time. And furthermore, that your confidence would bring comfort to those you love in your absence.

Lastly, thank you to everyone who showed up. Thank you for the text messages, child care, meals, and the long drives some of you made just to show your love. My family is so grateful.

See you later, dad.

This title is a bit of an insult, isn’t it? When some one calls you narrow minded, it’s not exactly a compliment, especially these days when we’re expected to embrace all kinds of nonsense as good and true…🙄

I’ve had this phrase and a few scriptures running through my mind recently as I look around at our property. Since getting two livestock guardian dogs to live outdoors and watch over our “someday sheep,” we’ve installed a perimeter fence. The fence serves a few purposes: 1) be an additional confinement to the dogs, should they challenge the underground electric 2) keep our sheep in-bounds and 3) potentially keep predators out.

What’s unfortunate about a perimeter fence is that you can’t exit and enter the property from wherever you choose. The nature of fencing is to enclose, and in doing that, you create a secure area with limited access points. The only way into our property is through the gate at the driveway or through the neighbors field, up into our woods, and through the woods gate. It’s annoying, but necessary for the current and future animals 😒. And as much as I don’t like it, I appreciate the extra safety it provides for my two small kids as well. While I still need to supervise them, now they can no longer run straight into the road where cars sometimes fly by at 70mph 😬.

This fence though, it’s been a disruption at times. I’ve been in the woods checking maple syrup taps and wanted to climb up the hill into the pasture and to our yard from wherever I am, but I can’t. 😤 I have to go around along the fence line to the gate and THEN through the pasture to the yard. Have I mentioned it’s annoying? 😂 It squeezes me into a narrow area instead of permitting access from any point. It’s more work to go around, my freedom feels limited, it’s time consuming.

But again, it’s necessary.

As I’ve had to bend my will and surrender my frustrations with the fence, I’ve been able to literally walk through and visualize Jesus’ words regarding the narrow gate…

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the way that leads to life, and only a few find it.…” Matthew 7:13-14

Jesus is the narrow gate. He is the ONLY way in. When we are outside of Him, we literally have no way to get to heaven (or the rest of the property which is akin to God’s promises). Furthermore, it is only when we are IN HIM that we have true security and peace. He creates a border, boundaries to keep us from harm, and provides all that we need within that area. I know this is not a new idea here, but man, I’m telling you, physically walking around and being forced through a narrow way when I don’t want to–it’s quite a living illustration for me.

In the past few years, I feel like I’ve seen an increase in false teachings, things that would make people think they have access to the safe-zone by another means, adding gates wherever they choose, heck–eliminating gates all together. I’ve heard Christian doctrines would make people think there’s no such thing as being unsafe in any way. Teachings and ideologies that remove all boundaries because they’re offensive and difficult to work around.

Let me be blunt: This is nonsense. 🤚

Furthermore, this is expected…

“And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray.” Matthew 24:11

We are living in an age where we are literally being told to “stop being narrow minded,” and start being more inclusive. The culture is pushing us daily to transform boundaries, change access points, and believe there aren’t consequences if we do so.

Some cultural “broad road” topics should be obvious to anyone who’s read their Bible. There literally are things that God has fixed in place for mankind that we don’t need to waste time questioning. There are also Biblical Truths that are non-negotiable. For example:

There are 2 genders. Marriage is designed for one man and one woman. Ripping a baby from the womb is murder. Jesus is God’s son. Jesus was crucified and rose from the grave. Jesus is the ONLY way to the Father in heaven. There is a real hell. The Old Testament really happened. Jesus is returning to a real Jerusalem. There is only ONE true God. There is only one true religion. There is only one Truth, there’s no such thing as “your truth.” The One Truth is the man Jesus and the Word of God (which are One). There is no such thing as being good enough to get into heaven, you only enter through the Gate. God is love, not “love is love,” and since God is love–He gets to define the True terms of love. I could go on….

The point is, we do not get to change or re-define the fencing or the gate. God has created and fixed it for eternity no matter what crazy ideas man gets. My animals have no say in where we place our gates or our fencing, neither do outsiders. The problem we have with the Gate is that it forces us to funnel ourselves through God’s terms, and it is only when we do this that we enter into His Promises, including heaven.

If you are seeking God, whether a Christian or not, at some point you will be confronted by the Narrow Gate. The Gate forces us to humble ourselves and our thinking—perhaps we don’t know best? It forces us to conform to His system, which effects every area of our life.

So, while this may be an offensive post for some, for others I know it will be refreshing. How you receive it honestly depends on how you relate to the Gate. 🤷‍♀️

Lastly, I want to say I can empathize with those who wrestle with some of these ideas. Don’t give up, keep wrestling through. I’d be happy to discuss any of them with you if you’d like (email me). There were a few of them I’ve struggled with myself, especially the idea of only having one religion 😕 I remember believing for a time that all religions led to one God who they happened to call different names 🤷‍♀️ But I was wrong. And the closer I got to the Gate, the more I saw that He was who He said He was, and that meant He was the Only way. I distinctly remember when God confronted me on this issue and I consciously agreed with Him: “Yes, God. I see now you really are the Only Way.” And from then on it was settled.

Sometimes these issues provoke some real wrestling, frustration, and irritation. We want a broader gate based on our thinking 😕 And what we think has most often been influenced by our culture and/or our own desires. Culture changes. God doesn’t. He isn’t progressing and changing His ideas based on ours. He is God. His ways stand even if ours change. 🤷‍♀️

As I expressed before, I don’t like walking around my fence to go through a single entry point. It’s frustrating at times. But I see the value of it and I know it is the only way.

God’s ways may feel like they squeeze us or are too narrow at times. I get it. So does He, that’s why He told us outright that the Gate is Narrow. He knows this is difficult, but not impossible. If you’re having a hard time with any of these ideas, my encouragement to you is to seek Him with your whole heart until you find Him. Get to know the Architect of the system and perhaps you’ll have better understanding of His design.

As always, thanks for stopping by.