On April 11, 2025, I went to a conference in Lake Geneva hosted by HUB. Heidi Baker, my favorite missionary was due to speak and whenever possible, I’ve tried to go listen. That night I had an encounter with God that is difficult and too long to describe here. During that time of ministry I prayed many things, one of which I’ll share.

As I laid everything down—everything—every relationship, good work, desire, hobby, etc, I also laid down my sheep. I have a small flock of sheep that I’ve really enjoyed caring for, and that night, as I was face down on the carpet, I felt a nudge to surrender my sheep. To be completely honest, I was fine with this. It probably sounds strange, but there are times that you’re so close to the Lord that nothing else matters 🙌. This was one of those. Nothing mattered except to be found in the place of total surrender and obedience 💛 I remember distinctly praying “Lord, take my sheep, and if they need to go (completely), then take Miss Diasy during lambing.”

I can honestly say that I don’t know why I prayed that so specifically 🤔 Miss Daisy is my favorite sheep and has made my entire shepherding experience worthwhile. She formed a strong bond with me, and as the matriarch of the flock, whatever Daisy does, the others do. Having her has been a huge advantage as she calms the others and also leads them. At the time, she had also been my top producer of lambs, always birthing and caring for large, healthy lambs including triplets the previous year. So when I prayed “take Miss Daisy during lambing,” I wasn’t just saying “I’m giving you my favorite,” I was also offering my best and my flock. If the Lord took her, I wasn’t interested in keeping sheep anymore, she made it worth it 🥹

What I didn’t expect was what would happen just a few weeks later. On May 2, 2025, I hosted a birthday party. I took the guests out to see Clover’s lambs and as I did, I noticed something. Daisy’s hind end was swollen, abnormally so. At first I thought she may just be nearing lambing, but something didn’t look right…😕

I later went out and took some pictures and sent them to my sheep mentor. His wife, Nancy, is a veterinarian. After showing him the pictures, he said he’d never seen anything like it and asked if it was ok for his wife to call me. I knew something was very wrong and remembered my prayer from April…Nancy and I talked through it and she believed Daisy had a perineal hernia. She stated she’s never seen this before in sheep, but had seen it in a few dogs. Her recommendation was to have a C-section to remove the lambs.

The next few days were rough. Knowing my prayer, I wrestled with how much to intervene. Each day I watched the hernia grow larger as the lambs inside grew and put more pressure on her backside. The clock was ticking. As I prayed, I felt it was right to pursue the C-section, not necessarily to save Daisy, but to do the best I could to prevent unnecessary pain and suffering.  

“A righteous man regards the life of his animal…” Prov 12:10

I have several veterinarian friends, and after consulting with a total of 5, none had ever heard of a sheep with a perineal hernia. Everyone gave roughly the same prognosis: don’t expect much 😞 If lambs are pulled more than 5 days before their due date, they’ll die and mother’s don’t always make it through C-sections. One said “expect dead lambs” and another offered “a terminal C-section, just pull the lambs and shoot the mother.”  I was prepared for the worst: total loss of Daisy, lambs, and a vet bill, but I knew it was right to give them the best shot possible.

I didn’t pray a single prayer during these days. 🤐 I did not need to. I had already placed her in God’s hands back in April and I knew He was working this situation out. I cried, because I love my animal, but I also had a deep sense of peace knowing my answer was coming. “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:7.

God was going to decide, and I was prepared to give it all up. I spent extra time in the pasture giving extra treats and scratches knowing that these may be her last days.

I waited  for as long as I was comfortable with and on 5/5/25 I called the local vet to schedule a C-section. The soonest they could come was the following day. Dr. Kelsie came early Tuesday morning and confirmed the diagnosis. We got Miss Daisy positioned, numbed, shaved, and went to work. Halfway through she collapsed to her stomach as Dr. Kelsie worked quickly to find and remove lambs. With each lamb she grabbed I worked to dry, warm, and stimulate them to breathe (they had lethargy from the meds given to Daisy). She removed 3 live ram lambs 🥹 She then stitched and stapled Daisy back together as quickly as she could, and then I placed the lambs by her side, and walked away. I waited several hours before going back to check on her knowing she needed to rest and there was nothing I could do. In my heart I was prepared for the worst—a dead mom and dead lambs, but to my surprise, when I went out next, she was standing and drinking, and her hernia had almost completely sucked back into her abdomen.

I couldn’t believe it. For the next hours I focused on milking colostrum from Daisy and bottle feeding her little ram lambs. If she survived, I didn’t expect for her to care for her lambs, especially not triplets.

The next morning, there she was again. 24-hours post C-section and I could hear her making deep bleats, a special sound the mama’s only use with new lambs. She was cleaning them and letting them nurse. Miss Daisy once again proved why she was the best ewe ever 😊

I kept a close watch on her and the lambs, intervening and adding bottles where I felt necessary, and despite the odds, they all pulled through. No one knew what to expect regarding her hernia, which was never fixed. Some vets felt it would suck back in when the pressure was removed and others thought it would remain and possibly lead to infections as it would cause difficulty with urinating and bowel movements. We are now 6 months post lambing and C-section and you’d never know she had an issue.

Daisy will never breed again and has been retired to pet life.

I can honestly say that I expected the Lord to take Daisy and end my shepherding days. There were times that this idea felt like a relief, it would be less work in my life, but it also would be missed. I love my sheep. I love watching them, interacting with them, and caring for them (most days). Despite the stress of lambing season, our whole family has such joy every time new lambs are born.

Someone asked me recently about the topic of surrender. She asked “how do you know if you’ve truly surrendered something to God?” I replied with some of the above. I knew Daisy was given over in my heart because despite caring deeply, I didn’t feel led to pray for her situation at all. I had peace with either outcome. Others prayed for her recovery once I made them aware of the C-section on my farm page (I did this after it was finished), but in my heart it was settled. Live or die, sheep or no sheep, I just wanted to be found in the Lord’s will.

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.” Mat 7:21

I will add that since this experience, the sheep have shifted in my heart. I still love and enjoy them, but it’s much more a “take it or leave it” thing, and I think this is what God was after. There are times in our life that even the most innocent of things can begin to take over. God is a jealous God. He desires our time, attention, and affections and will not compete with anything or anyone. If there’s something that’s come to your mind while reading this, give it to God. What have you got to lose? If you hold onto it, you may lose it anyway, but if you give it to Him and He allows it to remain, you can know that you are in His will and there is no better place to be.

At the end of the day, surrender is a heart issue more than an issue about the actual “thing.” There are times the Lord is checking in on your heart like He did with Abraham and Isaac. He doesn’t always take what we place on the altar, but sometimes He does. I’ve experienced both in life. When we are living for Him, and choosing His will above our own, surrendering is natural. We can trust God and His process whether it’s the outcome we’d chose or not, because ultimately we know His ways are higher (Isa 55:8-9).

Whatever you’re wrestling with, consider turning it all over. Let God be God. He’ll make it clear whether your desire is something you can keep or if it’s something that will derail you and needs to be removed. Trust Him. He’s good at this.

For me, that is my deepest desire: to be in God’s will. To be found doing the things I’m supposed to do and faithful with whatever He trusts me with during this short time on earth. At the end of the day, this mindset will always lead one back to surrender. Regularly and continuously checking in and surrendering to His will in all areas of life from reputation to relationships, career to hobbies, it’s all to remain on the table.

As always, thanks for stopping by.