The Narrow Way

I was sitting there staring at my dirty white socks in frustration, when the thought came to me “buy black socks.” 🤔

But could I? Could it be that simple?
Let me rewind a minute…

I come from a long line of “neat freaks.” I’m sure you know the kind of people…we scrub floors before going on vacation and might be late for something because we had to first do the dishes 🙈 it’s almost embarrassing. We call it “the Feierstein Gene” after my moms side, since they seem most effected.

We live in the country. If my husband and toddler go outside, they come in dirty. Always. I do my best to keep up, but in the back of my mind is a phrase God spoke to me while pregnant with my son (the toddler). I was driving to work at the behavioral health clinic, and thinking of all of the things that I needed to do. I had a huge list of projects and cleaning, but I did not have a lot of time, and as I was thinking about this I was simultaneously thinking about how it would only be more difficult when the long-awaited baby boy arrived. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, I heard God say “you can have a perfect house or perfect children, but you cannot have both.” I remember thinking when I heard this in my spirit, that surely it was true, but I also thought that perhaps I could find a way to have both. 😏 I should clarify, “perfect” because when I say that God said perfect, I do not believe He meant perfect by definition, more like meeting my expectations and goals. So, there it was, one of the many tensions I’d get to navigate in motherhood.

For a multitude of reasons (I’ll share some other time), when our son was 2.5 and daughter about 3 months, we decided to get a livestock guardian dog (LGD). Having had a dog before, we knew it would be difficult initially, but figured we could make it work. After much research, we settled on a Karkachan and waited for a puppy, who we named Stanley. The first 2 weeks with Stanley were horrendous! I wanted to send him back. What were we thinking? Two small kids, chickens, house projects, people living with us, and now a puppy to pee on the floors and help keep us awake when the baby wasn’t sufficient 🥴 Needless to say, I’d never recommend this to anyone.

So, there we were with a puppy in winter and a very muddy front yard when it wasn’t covered in snow. We had just *nearly* finished a major construction project before the weather turned. The part that we didn’t get to? Planting grass of course. Every day the puppy would come in and out of the house multiple times, and even though we limited his access in the home, I couldn’t keep up with the dirty floors. For about a week, I looked at the hardwood floor and noticed how cloudy it was. Several times during this week I got out baby wipes or a bucket of water to wash the worst areas, only to see that they were completely soiled in less than 24 hours. I don’t think any guests detected the level of filth, but I knew it was there. And it bothered me deeply. I noticed that my white socks were gray after a short time of wearing them. This was so annoying that I took all of the white socks in the house and bleached them.

Fresh, clean, bright white socks felt so good. I felt like I had victory over this disaster that was my kitchen/hallway area. But it was short lived. The socks became gray again, and I was filled with frustration and anxiety. Is it that much to ask to always have people take their shoes off? Why can’t we wipe the puppies paws well enough? How do we spill so many things?

And then, a thought, perhaps even God-inspired…buy black socks. I ordered them almost instantly. I felt like I was cheating. How could black socks be the solution? I needed a clean floor, not new socks! But when they arrived, they were everything I had hoped for. I would walk around my house with them all day and not noticed how dirty my feet were. If company was over, I was not self-conscious about my gray socks. I decided that the anxiety I had over the dirty floor was simply not worth it. So while I still plan to clean the floor, I’m going to do what’s reasonable rather than be a slave to it. The black socks made me feel like I was in control of my life again (even though I know it’s just an illusion, but comforting nonetheless). I now choose to ignore the dirt sometimes, not massive amounts, but the everyday dirt that I can’t keep up with.

And this is how Black Sock Solutions was created. I realized that although I want things to be perfect, well kept, done to an acceptable standard—that’s not always possible. Life is messy. My floors will be messy sometimes too. Sometimes we can’t solve the problem, but perhaps there’s a temporary fix, even if it’s not ideal, something to help us keep moving forward. When God drops you a line, a way to get through whatever is going on, that’s a Black Sock Solution. It’s not a “life hack,” it’s something that comes to you from God. It’s an unlikely path or intervention specific to your time and situation. It’s His way.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord^. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,  so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isa 55:8-11

My goal is to try and keep the important things in life as first priority. If I can do this more often than not, I’ll call myself successful. For now, I’m happy to be making progress. Thankfully, God is faithful. He will continue to supply a method through the madness, my responsibility is to listen and do. And as I do, I look forward to sharing more Black Sock Solutions in the future. ☺️