The Narrow Way

Have you ever noticed there’s a self-help book for everything? Apparently this trend started in the 70s and has been booming ever since. 🤷‍♀️ There are now literally countless books filled with ways to improve yourself, love yourself, basically upgrade yourself in every department of life 😯 Kinda tempting sometimes, who doesn’t want You-Version 2.0, lol. After all, wouldn’t the improved version be happier? Healthier? Better liked? More successful?

I was thinking about this recently as I felt God leading me to do the exact opposite…Rather than focus on me, my family, or areas to improve—to instead resist the pull to upgrade ME and continue to simply focus on Jesus. I felt Gods reminder to obey Him as He leads me to give of myself…give of my time, energy, desires and money, despite having no quick flashy rewards. No recognition or applause, just small deeds done in secret for heavenly treasures…

The two couldn’t be more opposite. There’s one voice urging you to pursue all manner of pleasure, entertainment, and selfish gain because “you deserve it”; while the other is saying “give it away, give even more, it’s ok—turn to me, I’ve got you covered.” 🤔🙈🤷‍♀️

What’s a person to do?

It depends, I suppose, on who you’re loving and serving 🤷‍♀️ One thing God has never needed to tell mankind is to love himself or put himself first. Rather, He instructs us to love Him and others as our selves, because that’s NOT our nature. Our nature is Selfishness and our self-love runs deep. Very deep. So deep that Satan believes Job (and face it, most of us) will do anything to save himself if afflicted:

⁴ “Skin for skin!” Satan replied. “A man will give all he has for his own life. ⁵ But now stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face.” Job 2:4-5

Yet Job resisted the temptation to curse God, despite his extreme affliction. He denied himself the right to “be right,” and submitted himself to the hand of God.

This seems so strange in our time. To deny yourself anything, yet Jesus says:

^“23 Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.²⁴ For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. ²⁵ For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?” Luke 9:23-25

The way of the Christian is still the way of the cross. It’s still death to Self (not physical but to our will, desires, emotions) that we might live for Christ. ✝️

Im not talking about seeking help for true mental health issues (see final paragraph), but I’m talking about upgrades. I’m referring to the kind of self-help that idolizes Self…it says things like “you deserve” or appeals to selfish motives, desires, and ambitions. It’s the kind of thing the the book of James warns against…

This kind of “self-help” can be toxic to faith as it nourishes the flesh and ego, rather than the spirit. It is often about satisfying and gratifying Self, instead of destroying it and seeking to satisfy God. The way of a Christian should consistently seek for less of me and more of God. In the words of John the Baptist “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30). So we strive to:

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Mat 7:13-14

Do you know why the gate is narrow? I suspect it has something to do with not just the quantity of people that will go through, but also the size we have to become for passage . We must become small. Humble. Less….The only way to do that is to put off ourSelf. To deny ourSelf and allow God to transform us into new creations that seek to put Him and His Kingdom first.

In my walk with God, I’ve found it best to embrace His ways rather than resist them. When I resist and choose my ways or the ways of the world (comfort, pride, self satisfaction, pleasure, popularity), I wrestle longer. My gaze becomes inward, challenges multiply, mood depressed/anxious as I strive to bring about my “great” plans to make mySelf happy. But it never works 🙈😂 So while it’s often harder to do things Gods way, the results are always better and lasting. In the long run, His ways truly are always better even if they seem harder at the time.

It is as Paul says:

¹⁶ So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Gal 5:16-17

Gods prescribed remedy for our flesh is total destruction. Not physically speaking, but speaking of our will. His path is complete submission and surrender to HIS plans and ways above our own. He takes us through a series of Self-destruction because He knows the way, He IS the way, and when Self is destroyed, Jesus can reign in our lives. 🙌

If you’ve ever gardened, even for a minute, you know how it can be both frustrating and rewarding. Your goal: grow what you want. The problem: weeds! Weeds everywhere! If you’re short on time, you might grab at them and pull, removing most of the foliage only to find that within days that bugger is taking over–AGAIN! The only way to stop the weeds is to utterly and completely destroy them at the root. It must be totally eliminated because if even a trace of it remains…it will grow back….🌱 The same is true of our carnal Self.

Often when I’ve ministered to people with “Self problems,” I find their freedom is directly opposite of what they feel like doing. The flesh is quite “feely,” if you want to struggle forever as a Christian, just be sure to follow it. 😂 But if you want to have freedom, breakthrough, and growth, try pushing yourself to do the exact opposite of your feelings (most of the time it’s opposite anyway)!

➡️You’re depressed? Find someone to serve and lift up. Refuse to isolate. Do the opposite of what you feel and watch as you come to life.

➡️You’re anxious? Cast your cares upon God and find a way to demonstrate your faith., take action on SOMETHING. Try trusting Him with whatever small (or seemingly large) obstacle or change in circumstances is in front of you. This is active faith by the way, pause and consciously tell God “I trust you to help me through…” and watch what happens.

➡️Feeling greedy? Give! Give GENEROUSLY as much as you can to someone in need! If you can do it freely, without expectation of return, you’ll find God-prompted generosity to be all the reward you need!

➡️Gluttony or lacking discipline? Fast! Try to fast food, it’s good to feel hunger, but otherwise fast something else that’s dear to you. Fasting is one of the only ways I can personally EVER get more disciplined.

➡️Feeling stuck, jealous, empty? Quit social media! I promise you, this is such an idol for so many. If you would just quit for a week, you’d see it’s grip fall from your spirit and no doubt start hearing God once again.

➡️Ungrateful or coveting? Give thanks and physically give—bless—someone, anyone! You don’t have to be rich to make this work, you could even just buy someone’s coffee or tank of fuel.

You get the point, right? You have to find something to do to break the cycle to put your flesh on the defense. It will require action and it’s always going to be a CHOICE. The Spirit and the flesh are forever in opposition, remember that.

Why am I sharing this? Well, because recently I’ve forced myself to do several of the ➡️➡️➡️things I mentioned above. I hadn’t been feeling all of them in their extremes, but a vague “stuck” feeling. After choosing to NOT give into myself for various things, becoming aware of, and acting on others’ needs, etc—I felt like a computer that had been rebooted. I don’t feel stuck. I don’t feel like I need to hold tight to things to make things go my way. I feel free to be generous in every way that I’m consciously aware of.

And I’m sharing because I have talked to enough people in recent history who are admittedly desperate for the same rebooting. …this is my “Black Sock Solution” for you. Go back to the cross. Return to the former ways and do what you did at first. Stop satisfying your flesh. Take up your cross and CHOOSE to deny yourself. When the roots of Self begin to be removed, you’ll become so much more free, which will continue provoke you to more freedom.

If this spoke to you, I pray you have the courage to take a baby step of action towards destroying Self so that you can live more deeply and freely. May God purify every motive and cause you to see more clearly how each choice impacts the road you choose to walk on. May you find and cling to the narrow one my friends.

As always, thanks for stopping by.

One last thought: As an RN and former mental health worker–I DO want to acknowledge that there are times, even the most sincere and devout Christian might find themselves in a deep pit, and it has nothing to do with their level of toxic Self-love. Through circumstances they become surrounded by lies, bogged down, and unable to even extend a hand for help…I’ve seen this. In these situations, please do seek professional help while reaching out to Jesus. I do not believe that we have to abstain from what counselors, doctors, nurses etc can offer to be well and right with God. I think there are times that it is absolutely necessary for people to use every available resource to get back up, and there’s no shame in that! If this is you—don’t feel an ounce of condemnation with the above post—go get some help and keep on fighting. Send me an email, I’m happy to pray for and encourage you. ❤️