The Narrow Way

You know those people who are kind of animal freaks? The sort who are a little obsessed and pose with any critter they can get their hands on? 🙋‍♀️ That’s been me for as long as I can remember, it’s part of why I studied biology. I’m genuinely fascinated by most animals, though I favor mammals 😌Fascination aside, I also think I’m drawn to animals because for me–they’re safe 😬

And that’s not to say I’ve never been bit, pecked, scratched or nearly thrown from the back of a horse before 🙈😂, but it is to say that in many ways, I find their behaviors predictable, logical, and not as damaging as people’s can be.

Growing up I had an all white cat named Salt. I loved her dearly and she was my closest companion for years. Whenever I was sad, scared, sick, or upset in anyway, Salt was there. Animals seem to have a sense for that, and she was no exception. We owned just about every domestic animal you can own when I was young: snakes, chinchillas, mice, dogs, parrots, newts, chameleons, ferrets, hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, crabs, fish…the list goes on. They weren’t all as intuitive as Salt or the dogs, but they all were fun to care for and relaxing to observe.

I had a familiar thought cross my mind today when I was out with my dog. It was this: “One of the best things about animals is–animals never reject you.” 🥲🐾❤️🙌

I was thinking back to a meet up I had recently, a really sweet new acquaintance who I rehomed a disabled chicken to. I wanted to care for the bird, but I honestly knew I wouldn’t have time to make sure she was able to eat adequately once integrated to my main flock (her beak made eating a challenge for her). This sweet soul drove an hour to meet me, I drove 49 minutes, and she happily welcomed my deformed chick. ❤️ She mentioned she cares for several others like her, feeding them by hand 3x per day. 😳 For some of you, you read this and think she might be crazy, but that wasn’t my first thought–my first thought was “she feels safer with animals.” Whatever has been this woman’s past, she’s chosen to pour out her compassion and kindness on animals, perhaps because they’re safer…🤷‍♀️

I thought back to some of my own struggles growing up, friendships that just vanished. Poof, gone! It would seem like all was well and suddenly the rug would be pulled out from under me. The pattern at times was too blatant to ignore, such that my mom still reminds me as a 36 year old adult “remember, this has always been one of your battles…” People, for one reason or another, have found it easy to shut me out, ignore me, drop me, simply just walk away, no explanation required. Sometimes I find people distance themselves, often “because they’re intimidated by you,” she’d say, something several have admitted over the years. Regardless of their reasoning, known or unknown, its never hurt less. It never made it ok, yet knowing “why” has helped me to move forward, that and being quick to forgive. Ultimately, I’ve learned to hold people loosely and trust God for friendships, even if they only last a season.

Then I remembered some happenings at a church. Through no known fault or intent of my own, I’d found myself as an outsider looking in. 😔 It seemed no matter what I did, I was misunderstood. I was genuinely ministering and trying to live out the call of God on my life in every place possible, but this was overlooked. I was to be kept at a distance. 🤚 And I felt it. Eventually I addressed it, but it didn’t make the past go away, if anything it confirmed what I suspected and felt. I wasn’t free to be me, I didn’t seem to fit the mold or fit in, and over time despite my efforts, it caused distance. I felt rejected by a large circle at my church and those addressed couldn’t deny it. I was like the awkward bird in the coop—somehow I landed on the receiving end of the pecking order 😔

I wish I could say it stops there, but it doesn’t. A member of my own family seems to have an unexplainable chip towards me, something I’ve felt my whole life 🤷‍♀️ And that’s not to say I don’t believe this person loves me, or I don’t love them. There is love, but I’ve had to look really hard at times to find their expression of it. And this person isn’t alone, the fact is—this lack of consideration, canceling of plans, ignoring, and other dismissive attitudes and behaviors is common to so many in my life 🙈

So I’ve had to learn to love some people with a little more distance to avoid the reoccurring hurts. I wrestle thoughts and try to attribute best motives… “they’re busy. They forgot. They mean well…” Yet sometimes that only goes so far, sometimes I need to SEE someone cares or makes an effort, and if I don’t, I back away slowly. Not in anger, but for my own safety. I’d rather not keep petting a dog that bites 😬

I’m writing this not for pity, because I’m sure many can relate, but to say I think I’ve found some Truths and keys to living life with this thorn in my flesh.

The truth about rejection is: I’m not alone, you’re not alone.

The truth about rejection is: God hasn’t rejected anyone, ANYONE.

The truth about rejection is: Jesus was rejected, He can relate.

“Who has believed our message
and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
² He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
³ He was despised and rejected by mankind,
a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

⁴ Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
⁵ But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
⁶ We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

⁷ He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
⁸ By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
Yet who of his generation protested?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was punished.
⁹ He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.

¹⁰ Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.
¹¹ After he has suffered,
he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
¹² Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.” Isa 53

After reading the above scripture, I come to realize I’m in good company, even though I’d rather not relate to Jesus in suffering. But I see here the very Son of God who came to seek and save what was lost was rejected by those He came to for. 😔 Jesus, a Jewish man, the fulfilment of scripture, was literally crucified by the His own people. They not only rejected Him, they humiliated and tortured Him. I can only relate in the smallest of ways, yet thinking on what He endured brings me to a place of thanksgiving (because He would take that on for me) and a compulsion to continue to “Forgive them, for they know not what they do…”

If Jesus can forgive people after what they did to Him (myself included), then surely I can forgive when people misunderstand, slander, forget about, dismiss, and reject me. 🙌

The truth about rejection is: Jesus experienced rejection, so we could experience adoption.

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba,Father.”The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Rom 8:15-17

The truth about rejection is: I am NOT rejected, I am accepted, adopted, and redeemed by the precious blood of Jesus!

Hallelujah!

Even if man has rejected us, God has called us Sons and Daughters. He has prepared a place for us and will come for us (John 14). Jesus has literally become sin for us who believe, tearing down every barrier, that we might have unhindered access to God the Father. And our Father promises to NEVER turn away any who seek Him. He’s always there, always ready to embrace us 🥺😭❤️🙌 Since I’m here, I just want to throw in a shout out that this goes for you too—any LGTBQ folks. Remember it. Ministering at the GodMobile we encountered so many in this community who didn’t know the truth, that you are not rejected on account of sin anymore than anyone else. Folks just assumed that God (and His people) had rejected them too and it broke my heart 🥺😭😔💔

Rejection is part of life and it’s difficult, plain and simple. It happens to us all in various measures, and because it happens to us we don’t get to control it. But we CAN control how we respond. We can remember that we have a High Priest who can identify with everything we encounter. One who is able to relate to us and walk us through rejection and be sure we heal from it.

Aside from mentally forgiving, one of the more practical ways God has led me to forgive in some instances is to bless, and not just with my words. I’ve had more than one occasion where I’ve felt led to make a meal, send money/donations, or gifts to people who have rejected me. It’s not every time, but it’s been enough for there to be a pattern and learn some creative tangible ways to bless 😅. I may not always like it or find it easy, but for me, I feel like in blessing those who have rejected me, I’m kept safe. Giving forces humility and helps keeps my heart clean.

For all of you who would rather just stick to hanging out with animals–I get you. Honestly, it’s easier. And if not for a sense of God compelling me to press on, I’d do just that. Animals are safe, I think maybe that’s part of why God gave them to us–to demonstrate His unconditional love 🐾❤️

Lastly, for anyone out there who has been hurt by the church—I’m so sorry. Truly. I’ve had more than one church hurt myself and it’s hard. When you think “these are the ones who are supposed to…” you’re not wrong. 😔 But also keep in mind how human you are…surely you’ve missed it, failed, caused harm intentionally or unintentionally to others…and while you’d like to expect more from “the Church,” you can’t always. They’re flawed humans just like you and I. As much as you can, give grace, and if you haven’t already—forgive and move forward. No matter how much they’ve messed up, continue to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Move on if you need new space or safer relationships, but don’t do so in bitterness and pain. Bless and try again, refuse to give up on your need for fellowship and to feel some measure of acceptance. It’s valid and it’s ok to pray and seek out.

As always, thanks for stopping by. I pray that this helps anyone who’s been a repeat victim of rejection to pause and remember the truth: in Christ—you are not rejected. You were bought with the precious blood of Jesus, created and redeemed for a purpose. Keep pursuing that path and trust God to put some people of character around you. ❤️