The Narrow Way

I’m writing this from my dad’s hospital room. He’s resting comfortably, a sight that’s a relief after the past few days…

I’m thinking about all kinds of things when the room is still. Things like how about week ago, my Karakachan dog, Stanley, got ahold of an opossum and severely injured it 😔 I tried to rescue it but it died of internal injuries 2 days later. He didn’t do anything wrong though, in fact, he did EXACTLY what he’s been bred to do. In his mind, this little opossum was an unwelcome intruder. His job—keep anything foreign off his property! 💪

Stanley was fulfilling his God-given purpose as a livestock guardian dog. I may not always like the critter killing, but I understand it. I can’t break him of being who he is. He was made for this—be it opossums, coyotes, bears, or bad guys—he will confront anything to protect what’s been entrusted to him.

As I sit here, I’m ruminating on the purpose of God for everything and everyone on earth including my own 🤔 All creation has purpose and when they live in it—it’s amazing, like a puzzle piece🧩 in just the right spot. Of course when they fail to, or try to be a puzzle piece other than what they are, it’s a mess.🙈

Stanley, for example, would be a horrible indoor pet. He’d become so restless without being able to patrol that he would be destructive😬 And without something to guard, he would (and this is an issue among these breeds) likely engage in things like resource guarding—picking any number of objects or locations to defend from “intruders.” These dogs are designed to work. 💪

I believe the same is true of us. We have been created for a purpose, and when we are doing that—we are most fulfilled and the greatest asset to those around us. Living less than our purpose, we get frustrated. Even worse is when we compare ourselves to someone with a very different purpose…🤦‍♀️

Initially in the hospital I was fighting for my dad to get what he needed. Once settled, the hospital has been great. There have been moments that required “sucking it up” and doing what needed to be done for his safety and dignity. But through it all, I’ve been simply being who God made me to be—a nurse. 👩‍⚕️

I don’t see nursing as my full identity, but it’s certainly a part, and I relate to many of its stereotypes. Nurses are known to take the bull by the horns and swallow their own fears or emotions to get done whatever needs to be done—for the sake of the vulnerable. They will jump into dirty, smelly, and hideous things like softball sized pressure ulcers, gaping wounds, vomit, diarrhea, and blood to help someone else feel better. They’ll intimidate or draw firm boundaries to protect their patient if a friend or family member is acting out of line. And despite wanting to do only good, we nurses will also stab you with a needle if we believe it’s for your benefit 😅

Nurses will read a room and adjust their communication and content based on who can handle what, as well as their knowledge base.

Nurses will often neglect their needs, not peeing or eating during a shift, working overtime, working late, to ensure someone’s safety or help their team when everyone is running on empty.

Nurses aren’t hero’s or angels, they’re people, but they’re people with a unique calling and deep compassion. The best nurses I’ve known cry with you. They allow your situation to touch their lives rather than grow calloused with the work. They refuse to harden their hearts even when someone yells at them, another agitated old guy takes a swing, or the demented lady throws her walker (again!😂) The good nurses bleed with you, because that’s how God made them. 🩸

If you’ve ever had a good nurse, you’ve had one that’s fulfilling *part* of their purpose. I say part, because God didn’t create us just for nursing. Nursing is just an arena where we get to express some of what Gods put inside of us.

I think again of Stanley, my dog. He’s a defender of the weak (any livestock, small kids, etc). He reads his environment and adjusts accordingly. He will respond with courage and intensity if needed. Yet, he can be incredibly gentle, playful, and loving. For the ones he’s close to, you’d never know how intense he can be, unless it was necessary😬

Not every dog is a Karakachan. Not every person a nurse.

As I’ve watched my family (and friends) come together to support us, I’ve seen all kinds. There are the organizers, care-takers, meal makers, emotional supporters, encouragers, movers, givers, and intercessors. So many have more than one role, but they’re all essential. I can’t be a nurse without childcare. Others can’t be the nurse, but they do a dang good job at jumping in and making a move go smoothly, setting up my mom’s kitchen, etc.

“There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. ⁵ There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. ⁶ There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.” 1 Cor 12:4-6

Leaving the hospital today, I don’t feel like I’m doing anything exceptional. I feel like I’m doing what comes naturally. I don’t feel bad receiving meals from others who care and are trying to help. We’ve even received generous support to help us with an unplanned bathroom remodel to meet my dads needs. These are all people operating within the grace given to them, and it’s beautiful.

When we live within our purpose there is grace. If we try to live outside of that, there’s frustration. Not every dog is a Karakachan, some are lap dogs, but both have purpose.

As scripture says, God hasn’t made us all for the same purposes. The things that come naturally to you may be a struggle for me and vice versa. My brother is a handyman, an HVAC guy, while I was in the hospital being the nurse, he was working to plan our bathroom remodel. If we had traded roles, let me tell you, it would’ve been nothing shy of a disaster 🤪😂 God has designed it this way. No one can be everything, we need Him and each other.

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.” Ps 133

If you’re looking for your purpose, follow the flow of grace in your life. Look for the things you’re naturally good at as you seek God to fill in the gaps.

I never thought of being a nurse, until God gave me a dream about being one. But looking back now, after almost 10 years of nursing, I can see not only how well this fits who I am, but how handy it’s been for my friends and family.

You’re the only YOU in your circle. Be that person, because no one else can be, and whatever it is that you contribute—it’s priceless and necessary. I believe this is what brings God the most glory—when you’re genuinely stewarding all He’s given you to love Him and those around you. ❤️

I feel like a lot of my writing lately has ended this way, but thank you to those who have been so supportive of me and our family. Dementia is tough, but without the love of a community of people, it’s impossible. My family has always strived to help others, it’s mighty humbling to be on the receiving end of things. ❤️

Blessings to you all.

As always, thanks for stopping by ☺️