The Narrow Way

“Do you want to keep it?” I heard the Lord whisper to me. “Yes! Of course!” I shouted inside.

I was standing in the front row of a worship service when I suddenly realized my feet had no more pain. Just moments before this, my feet were hurting so badly I was about to take a seat, only I felt drawn to the front and decided to go forward instead. There was no special altar call or anything, just a prompting to go forward. As I did, I could feel the weight of God’s Presence amplify. I wasn’t really praying anything particular, it was one of those rare moments where I knew God was near and I was focused on one thing: not losing Him.

Ever since being pregnant my feet sorta fell apart. The relaxed ligaments coupled with hard floors at home and work led to some pretty gnarly plantar fasciitis. I learned quickly to wear supportive footwear, even in the house, at all times. Flat shoes, barefoot, or sandals for an hour would lead to several days of pain. If I did all the right things, I often didn’t have symptoms. But for some reason in the spring of this year, that started to change and even when I did everything right–I had pain. The pain was almost constant, and instead of setting in after several hours of being up and about, I was having moderate to severe pain in my feet before even getting out of bed. It had been so bad that I was debating on making an appointment, but I knew there wasn’t much that could be done.

Until that Wednesday night…when I didn’t even ask…and God miraculously healed me.

“My mouth will declare your righteousness and your salvation all day long, though I cannot know thier full measure.” Ps 71:15

“Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works!” Ps 105:1-2

It’s been several months since then, and while most of my shoes are supportive anyway, I’ve been barefoot. I don’t wear supportive footwear in the house. And it’s still gone. And that’s why I’m writing this, because someone recently mentioned my feet as if they were still bad, and I realized how amazing and significant it is that they are in fact, 100% good.

I’ve been miraculously healed one other time in my life, in my lower back. This was a fairly severe and very painful disc issue from a lifting injury. I had seen a few doctors and been prescribed narcotics just to be able to sit during my lengthy 3 hour labs in college. I was constantly squirming because the pressure when sitting for too long was not tolerable. This was so severe that I nearly cancelled my first missions trip thinking 1) I may need back surgery and 2) If I do, I needed to do it while still on my parents insurance. Not only that, I struggled thinking about how I would get through an 18 hour plane ride…

Before leaving for Africa, my team and I spent a week in Georgia for training. We slept on plywood bunks. Literally. No mattress. I was in agony, but I was determined to be in Swaziland. One night while worshiping, as we did every evening, a man came up to the mic and said “someone here has severe back pain, and the Lord wants to heal you now.” My heart was racing, and somehow my hand shot up in the air. Within minutes people were circled all around me praying as the tears rolled down my face. In the morning, I woke, still in some pain, but slightly better. I remember thinking “I wonder if it worked?”

Fast forward a few weeks. Our team was settled in Swaziland and we had a special night planned–we went out for pizza. I vividly remember sitting on a wooden bench for about 2 hours, when suddenly I realized I wasn’t squirming. I hadn’t changed position. The pain was GONE. And it hit me–it had been pain free for the entire trip. The pain wasn’t there on the plane ride or in the van rides. It wasn’t there in the morning or when I was moving about. It was gone! As I sat there recalling the evening of worship, God’s Presence, the man who had the word of knowledge, the people who prayed, and how life changing this entire experience was–I wept. Right there in the pizza place I just burst into tears. I then of course had to explain this to my team, but it was ok–it was good–they were good tears!

When I think of both of these situations, there’s a few things I know and a whole lot of things I don’t know. What I do know is God is good and He desires to meet with us and bless us. I also know that I didn’t deserve a miracle, let alone two. I remember asking for my back to be healed, but I don’t ever recall asking about my feet. In both cases, God didn’t have to heal me, He doesn’t owe us anything, although He does make provision for everything. And while there’s no formula to receiving healing, I can’t help but think about how vital it is to be in His Presence. While this could be a Sunday church service, I think many times it’s not. Often it’s the “extracurricular” times, special chunks of time set aside for worship and prayer either alone or corporately when we are perhaps not so focused on our needs, an order of service, or when the next music will stop, but more focused on finding God. When you’re desperate for God–you look for more of Him–a timed Sunday service once a week isn’t enough. Call me crazy, but I think it moves God’s heart when we make the extra time to be with Him.

I also want to say, I have had other chronic conditions that have not been miraculously healed. I’ve had surgeries and used medications. I’ve wrestled in prayer for healing for myself or others with definite knowledge of what scripture says and have seemingly come up empty handed. I can’t explain this. It’s not like I didn’t find ways to find God’s Presence during these times as well. There are some things that we can’t explain and will never understand. And despite this, I trust Him.

Anyway, my purpose here really isn’t to get into healing doctrine(s). God was, is, and always will be a healer. He hasn’t and will never change (Mail 3:6). My purpose really is to say echo Ps 71:15 and say “look what the Lord has done,” because He healed me. And I’m still healed and so very thankful for it. I also want to give a nudge to believers to take the extra step–find ways–find places where you can take time out to really worship God. So much can change if we only take time to position ourselves…

As always, thanks for stopping by.